Try injera first, the spongy, slightly sour flatbread that every meal is built on, ideally under a beyaynetu platter of vegan stews. Then work through shiro, tibs, doro wat and, if you are brave, kitfo. Ethiopian food rests on one bread, a family of stews, a few distinctive spice blends and a long tradition of meat-free cooking. Here is what to order, what each dish is, and how to eat it without feeling awkward.

The best Ethiopian meals are spread across a city: a traditional restaurant for beyaynetu, a butcher-restaurant for tibs, a kitfo house, a café for the coffee afterwards. In Addis Ababa the easiest way to reach them is by private car, so you can try several places in one day without hunting for taxis.

What is injera?

Injera is the base of almost every traditional meal. It is a large, thin, spongy flatbread with a gently sour taste, made from a batter that is left to ferment before it is cooked on a wide griddle. The classic version uses teff, a tiny grain native to Ethiopia, though barley, sorghum, wheat, maize, rice and other grains are also used, alone or mixed with teff.

Injera is plate and cutlery at once. Stews are spooned onto a large round, and extra rolls come on the side. You tear off a piece, pinch up some stew and eat. The injera underneath soaks up the sauces and is eaten at the end. If the sourness surprises you, give it a couple of meals; most visitors come round to it.

Which Ethiopian dishes should you try first?

Beyaynetu: the best first order

Beyaynetu is a combination platter: a round of injera with small heaps of different stews, lentils, greens and salad arranged on top. The version called yetsom beyaynetu is fully vegan, and it is the easiest way to taste a lot of Ethiopian cooking in one go. Expect things like misir wat (red lentils cooked with berbere), kik alicha (a mild split-pea stew), gomen (spiced collard greens) and shiro.

Shiro

Shiro is one of the most widely eaten dishes in the country: a smooth, thick stew made from ground chickpeas or broad beans, cooked with onion, garlic and spices. It is comforting, filling and usually vegan. Tegabino shiro, a thicker, heavily spiced version, is sometimes brought bubbling to the table in a small clay pot.

Tibs

Tibs are pieces of meat, usually beef, lamb or goat, sautéed with onion, other vegetables and spiced butter. They can be mild or fiery, and often arrive still sizzling in a small clay dish. Because the meat is cooked, tibs are a good choice for cautious eaters; ask for it well done if you prefer.

Doro wat

Doro wat is widely called Ethiopia's national dish: chicken slow-cooked in a deep red sauce of onions, berbere and spiced butter, with hard-boiled eggs sitting in it. It takes hours to make and is traditionally cooked for holidays and special occasions, so not every restaurant has it every day. If you are here for Genna (Christmas), Fasika (Easter) or New Year, this is the dish to look for.

Kitfo

Kitfo comes from the Gurage people: finely minced beef mixed with mitmita (a hot chilli spice blend) and warm spiced butter. Traditionally it is eaten raw. If that is too much, ask for it leb leb (lightly warmed) or fully cooked. It is often served with ayib, a mild fresh cheese, and gomen. Gored gored is a close cousin: cubes of raw beef rather than mince, warmed briefly in spiced butter.

What do Ethiopians eat for breakfast?

• Firfir (or fit fit): torn injera mixed with leftover stew or spiced sauce. Hearty, juicy and a little sour.
• Chechebsa (kita firfir): flatbread torn into pieces and fried with spiced butter and berbere, often served with honey and yoghurt.
• Kinche: a simple, cheap porridge of cracked wheat, oats or barley, often finished with spiced butter.

What gives Ethiopian food its flavour?

Three ingredients do most of the work. Berbere is a red spice blend built on dried chilli with spices such as fenugreek, coriander, cardamom, cloves and ginger. Mitmita is a hotter, orange-red blend of bird's-eye chillies, cardamom seed, cloves and salt, used especially with kitfo. Niter kibbeh is clarified butter infused with garlic, ginger and spices, and it goes into many meat dishes.

Food is well seasoned rather than always fiery. Dishes called alicha are mild, made with turmeric instead of berbere. If you are sensitive to heat, order an alicha or keep some ayib cheese on the side.

Why is there so much vegan food?

Followers of the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church fast on Wednesdays and Fridays and through Lent and several other fasting seasons, and fasting means no meat, dairy or eggs. That has produced a huge range of vegan dishes, and on fasting days almost every traditional restaurant offers a yetsom (fasting) menu. Vegetarians and vegans eat very well in Ethiopia. Our guide to Ethiopian Orthodox fasting explains the dates.

How do you eat Ethiopian food politely?

How do you find good Ethiopian food in Addis Ababa?

Some of the best places to eat are spread out across the city, and busy local restaurants rarely have much parking. With a driver by the day, we drop you at the door of each restaurant, wait while you eat and take you on to the next stop. You can combine lunch, a coffee ceremony and dinner with sightseeing in between, and you are never stuck looking for a ride home after a meal with tej.

What should you drink with it?

Coffee often follows a meal, sometimes in the full traditional ceremony. Tej is a honey wine given a slightly bitter edge with gesho leaves; it is deceptively strong. Tella is a home-style beer brewed from grains such as barley or teff, also with gesho. Bottled water, soft drinks and local beers are easy to find in Addis.

What if you have allergies or dietary needs?

Teff itself is gluten-free, but injera is not always pure teff; many cooks and commercial bakers mix in other flours, which can include wheat or barley. If you have coeliac disease or a serious allergy, ask directly and be prepared for staff to be unsure. Spiced butter goes into many meat dishes, so fasting (yetsom) dishes are the easiest dairy-free choice.